Intentionally Evolving
Welcome to my Blog!
"For me, and, I am sure, for most of you, to be human is to always be in the process of becoming, to be in quest of openings, of possibilities." ~ Maxine Greene
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Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Evolving Toward 2012
So, this post moves a little bit to the side of my usual chit-chats about birds on the beach, and walking barefoot in the sand. I want to share the following information about thousands of people around the planet who are joining together to take our planet through its next quantum jump in evolution -- through its current crises of over-population, pollution, political corruption, ethnic cleansing, religious persecution, and educational degradation, to a New World that is sustainable and that is cared for by every human being. If you are willing to get ready with me, and thousands of others around the planet, the time is NOW to pay attention to what is going on in the world at large, in our country, in our neighborhoods, and within our own minds and bodies.
It's time to build a new planet based on love, compassion, and self-empowerment.
There is SO MUCH I could share about what is going on about this evolutionary time, but the gist of it is this: the world cannot continue as it is. Current approaches to govern ourselves and care for the planet are failing en masse. A NEW PARADIGM is needed. And people who think outside-the-box are also needed to carry the vision forward.
Undoubtedly, you have heard some news about the year 2012 -- December 21, 2012, to be exact. That is one date that many anthropologists, scientists, and visionaries the world over have agreed is a date of significance. Unlike some people who think that date signals the end of the world, I have aligned myself with people who believe it will signify the birthing of a new era of the human species--one that focuses on cooperation instead of competition, and on love instead of war.
To be a part of this movement, it is absolutely essential that people cleanse themselves of whatever mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual baggage that could (and will) sabotage their efforts to grow this new world. It's time to turn off the TV and the yucky news, and instead nourish ourselves with uplifting music, books, movies, and conversation. It's time to eat healthy and organic food that our cells know how to use. It's time to get up and outside to breathe fresh air and take care of our bodies so they are as fit as can be. It's time to pay attention to how we nurture ourselves spiritually, and learn mindfulness awareness practices so that we can be more often "present" with each moment as it unfolds. It's time to create rituals that honor children, our elders, and the plants and animals, and do random acts of kindness for ourselves, our family members, and strangers on the street. It is also a time when we urgently need to be more INTENTIONAL about our actions, and understand that every single action we do, and every single thought we entertain, makes an imprint in our minds and actually impacts others and the planet in microscopic ways. There is scientific proof of this phenomenon, which I will share in the days to come.
If this vision of creating a new world resonates with you, I encourage you to go to this website for a slideshow from the Shift Network, which is a network of visionaries, educators, scientists, healers, entrepreneurs, entertainers ... THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE from all walks of life ... who are coming together to create a new planet.
I'M SERIOUS! If we don't do something, someone else undoubtedly will.
https://docs.google.com/present/view?id=ddrt3vr7_1cv66n7fz&revision=_latest&start=0&theme=blank&cwj=true&pli=1
Friday, February 4, 2011
Touchstones
I should name these two goats. How about Harold and Maude? Harold can be the one on the left.
Harold and Maude are my "touchstones," whom I pass each time I catch the ferry to work from Fauntleroy, West Seattle, to Southworth on the Kitsap Peninsula. Which is to say, about 3 times every week.
These two little goats provide much joy and anticipation as my Suburu and I unload from the ferry, drive up a short hill, and make a left onto Sedgwick Road. Each time I go by their place, Harold and Maude are doing something just flat out charming or goofy, like standing on their little back hooves and stretching their necks as high as they can to strip the last leaf from one of the small trees in their yard. Their bellies are very round, so they cut quite a figure! On this particular day, they had ambled up a short ramp the owner had placed on their "goat house," and seemed to be surveying their surroundings for the first time. (As I took this photo with my iPhone, Maude let out a little bleat to say Hello. Harold was chewing thoughtfully.)
On other occasions, one of them might be standing on one of the small boulders in the yard, with all four feet pressed together in a clump. Just standing there as if to say, "I'm King (or Queen) of the mountain!" One or the other is always eating eating eating, or standing around and chewing its cud.
There's also a little grubby white sheep who joined Harold and Maude several weeks ago. I'll call her "Shadow" since she doesn't garner as much attention as Harold and Maude, but is still there in the scene, munching away.
The concept of "touchstone" came to mind one day as I drove past Harold and Maude's place, but didn't see either of them, or Shadow. The rest of the drive to work felt very hollow and lonely; I realized then how much I rely on seeing them to "make my day." To put a smile on my face.
A touchstone, in its literal sense, is actually a small tablet of dark stone, such as fieldstone, slate, or lydite. It has a finely grained surface, on which soft metals leave a visible trace; it's used to assay precious metal alloys, such as gold or silver. In the early days, when gold and silver were traded more commonly as currency, people needed a way to find out the degree of purity in the metal being offered. They used a touchstone on which to rub the more precious metal, and then tested the residue left from the mark made on it.
Metaphorically-speaking, a touchstone is a physical or intellectual measure by which the validity of a concept can be tested; in literature, for instance, a critic might determine if a piece of poetry, when compared to the "touchstone" of a recognized great literary "classic," has value or merit.
Harold and Maude are my Touchstones for Goodness and Innocence in this world. They stand for simplicity and humility. They represent a baseline for comic relief. Whenever I am taking myself too seriously, or when I forget my own Basic Goodness or that of others, all I have to do is flash to Harold and Maude standing on their roof, chewing their cud, and nonjudgmentally (I hope) looking down on me.
Do you have a touchstone? If so, please share!
(Information about touchstones retreived from: http://www.reference.com/browse/touchstone)
Harold and Maude are my "touchstones," whom I pass each time I catch the ferry to work from Fauntleroy, West Seattle, to Southworth on the Kitsap Peninsula. Which is to say, about 3 times every week.
These two little goats provide much joy and anticipation as my Suburu and I unload from the ferry, drive up a short hill, and make a left onto Sedgwick Road. Each time I go by their place, Harold and Maude are doing something just flat out charming or goofy, like standing on their little back hooves and stretching their necks as high as they can to strip the last leaf from one of the small trees in their yard. Their bellies are very round, so they cut quite a figure! On this particular day, they had ambled up a short ramp the owner had placed on their "goat house," and seemed to be surveying their surroundings for the first time. (As I took this photo with my iPhone, Maude let out a little bleat to say Hello. Harold was chewing thoughtfully.)
On other occasions, one of them might be standing on one of the small boulders in the yard, with all four feet pressed together in a clump. Just standing there as if to say, "I'm King (or Queen) of the mountain!" One or the other is always eating eating eating, or standing around and chewing its cud.
There's also a little grubby white sheep who joined Harold and Maude several weeks ago. I'll call her "Shadow" since she doesn't garner as much attention as Harold and Maude, but is still there in the scene, munching away.
The concept of "touchstone" came to mind one day as I drove past Harold and Maude's place, but didn't see either of them, or Shadow. The rest of the drive to work felt very hollow and lonely; I realized then how much I rely on seeing them to "make my day." To put a smile on my face.
A touchstone, in its literal sense, is actually a small tablet of dark stone, such as fieldstone, slate, or lydite. It has a finely grained surface, on which soft metals leave a visible trace; it's used to assay precious metal alloys, such as gold or silver. In the early days, when gold and silver were traded more commonly as currency, people needed a way to find out the degree of purity in the metal being offered. They used a touchstone on which to rub the more precious metal, and then tested the residue left from the mark made on it.
Metaphorically-speaking, a touchstone is a physical or intellectual measure by which the validity of a concept can be tested; in literature, for instance, a critic might determine if a piece of poetry, when compared to the "touchstone" of a recognized great literary "classic," has value or merit.
Harold and Maude are my Touchstones for Goodness and Innocence in this world. They stand for simplicity and humility. They represent a baseline for comic relief. Whenever I am taking myself too seriously, or when I forget my own Basic Goodness or that of others, all I have to do is flash to Harold and Maude standing on their roof, chewing their cud, and nonjudgmentally (I hope) looking down on me.
Do you have a touchstone? If so, please share!
(Information about touchstones retreived from: http://www.reference.com/browse/touchstone)
Sunday, January 9, 2011
How Earthing Can Save Your Life
The photo here (see credit below) shows both irregularly-shaped blood cells (on the left), and healthy blood cells (on the right).
Irregularly-shaped blood cells, according to this website and many others I have researched, could be “an indication of some unhealthy condition or disease,” such as dangerously-high cholesterol, the "presence of yeast cells [not a good thing to be in your blood], or an iron deficiency” … and so forth. In this particular picture on the left, the crystals that look like “elongated triangles” (I see two in the middle) are “solidified uric acid.” The author states, “One way our body protects us from acid is to solidify it. If left go for very long, these uric acid crystals would find their way to the joints and cause pain [i.e. arthritis].”
Of course, just walking barefoot does no good if your body is acidic. You have to eat more vegetables and fruits, drink good water, and cut back on caffeine, fatty and fried foods, and processed foods ~~ you know, the things that tax the liver and other cleansing organs. So, the whole thing works together: healthier eating and more hydration leads to a less acidic body. And using the earth’s energy also helps to replenish the cells, turning them from crooked, misshapen little things into beautiful and happy shapes that carry LIFE. That’s where I am headed.
(Photo from http://alkalinewaterplus.info/blog/2010/01/12/ionized-water-blood-cells-demo-videos)
Irregularly-shaped blood cells, according to this website and many others I have researched, could be “an indication of some unhealthy condition or disease,” such as dangerously-high cholesterol, the "presence of yeast cells [not a good thing to be in your blood], or an iron deficiency” … and so forth. In this particular picture on the left, the crystals that look like “elongated triangles” (I see two in the middle) are “solidified uric acid.” The author states, “One way our body protects us from acid is to solidify it. If left go for very long, these uric acid crystals would find their way to the joints and cause pain [i.e. arthritis].”
Of course, just walking barefoot does no good if your body is acidic. You have to eat more vegetables and fruits, drink good water, and cut back on caffeine, fatty and fried foods, and processed foods ~~ you know, the things that tax the liver and other cleansing organs. So, the whole thing works together: healthier eating and more hydration leads to a less acidic body. And using the earth’s energy also helps to replenish the cells, turning them from crooked, misshapen little things into beautiful and happy shapes that carry LIFE. That’s where I am headed.
(Photo from http://alkalinewaterplus.info/blog/2010/01/12/ionized-water-blood-cells-demo-videos)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Grounding
For some reason, the other night I found myself listening online to David Wolfe, a guru for understanding healthy eating, living, and being on the earth. What he shared made a terrific amount of sense.
Basically, those of us who spend a great deal of time each day plugged into electronic gadgets (guilty!), and who are rarely standing barefoot on the earth (guilty again!), are physically and spiritually disconnected from our Source Energy. The way to regain a sense of balance is to, literally, take off our shoes and walk upon the earth. "Rubber-soled shoes have been the worst invention of mankind," David Wolfe states (paraphrase). "You know that, during a lightening storm, if you are in your car you are probably going to be safe from electrocution. Why is that? It's because of the rubber wheels. Rubber does not conduct electricity. So", what do we wear on our feet? Most of us wear rubber-soled shoes. As a result, we cut ourselves off from the vital energy that the earth gives us freely, every day."
Given that we are electric beings (more than chemical beings), it makes sense to pay attention to what we expose ourselves to in terms of electricity. I spend several hours each day in front of a computer, and I carry around a cell phone, and I also watch TV on occasion. I also listen to the radio while in the car 2 hours each day, and am exposed to microwaves, other people's cell phones, and so forth. Knowing that all of these electric "beams" are coursing through my body each day, I bought a "Q-Link," which I wear around my neck several times each week; it's intended to protect a person from all of those harmful electric waves, and sustain one's own energy field, or aura. I do feel like I have more energy when I am wearing it: I am more focused and clear about what to do. I finish tasks more quickly. And my head feels light and spacious. It's quite amazing. I am still experimenting with that technology.
But, back to the earth. The basic idea about walking barefoot is this: The earth emits a "negative charge" that actually helps to balance us, inside and out, as electrical beings. All of the technology we deal with each day emits "positive" electrons, which wouldn't be so bad if we then balanced those with negative electrons; but we are usually disconnected from the earth by our rubber wheels or rubber-soled shoes, so the positive electrons prevail, leading to all kinds of problems with our health.
Now, these labels of negative and positive may seem counter-intuitive, since "negative" (which carries the connotation of "bad") actually means something good; but this is not a zero-sum game. We are speaking of BALANCE of both negative and positive, yin and yang. When we are out of balance, we have inflammation of the joints or a certain organ in our body. When we are out of balance, our hormones act in ways that are aggravating, especially at certain times of our lives!
When the earth's negative ions can enter the soles of our bare feet, they recharge us, so to speak, with the natural energy that is already within us. It's like plugging yourself into the right electrical wall socket. That's why people who are depressed get better when they walk on the beach. I have heard this before, but the little detail that was left out of that prescription is that you need to walk BAREFOOT on the beach. Some people still keep their shoes on, and that is no good. "You have to be skin on skin with the earth," says David Wolfe.
So, after spending about 3 hours on my laptop at a coffee shop today, I went to the beach across the street, and took off my shoes and socks. It was about 40 degrees outside, and cloudy. The sand was icy cold, and at first the sensation of cold and wet sand preoccupied my mind. But, after about 10 minutes of strolling slowly and watching the little waves roll in, and the seagulls flutter about, I became more aware of the sensation of the sand under my feet. It was hard as concrete in some places, and gave way in other spots ... It was grainy and smooth, cold and strong. I stood still for a few moments, and actually felt some bubbling energy entering my left foot! I have no idea what that was, but I don't think it was a clam with indigestion.
I want to return this weekend again, and walk for a little longer. You should try it, and see for yourself if that experience re-energizes you!
Here's the YouTube with David Wolfe explaining all of this (10 min, 50 seconds (hit the back arrow when finished, to return to this page!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RGN5ikfOho&feature=related
Basically, those of us who spend a great deal of time each day plugged into electronic gadgets (guilty!), and who are rarely standing barefoot on the earth (guilty again!), are physically and spiritually disconnected from our Source Energy. The way to regain a sense of balance is to, literally, take off our shoes and walk upon the earth. "Rubber-soled shoes have been the worst invention of mankind," David Wolfe states (paraphrase). "You know that, during a lightening storm, if you are in your car you are probably going to be safe from electrocution. Why is that? It's because of the rubber wheels. Rubber does not conduct electricity. So", what do we wear on our feet? Most of us wear rubber-soled shoes. As a result, we cut ourselves off from the vital energy that the earth gives us freely, every day."
Given that we are electric beings (more than chemical beings), it makes sense to pay attention to what we expose ourselves to in terms of electricity. I spend several hours each day in front of a computer, and I carry around a cell phone, and I also watch TV on occasion. I also listen to the radio while in the car 2 hours each day, and am exposed to microwaves, other people's cell phones, and so forth. Knowing that all of these electric "beams" are coursing through my body each day, I bought a "Q-Link," which I wear around my neck several times each week; it's intended to protect a person from all of those harmful electric waves, and sustain one's own energy field, or aura. I do feel like I have more energy when I am wearing it: I am more focused and clear about what to do. I finish tasks more quickly. And my head feels light and spacious. It's quite amazing. I am still experimenting with that technology.
But, back to the earth. The basic idea about walking barefoot is this: The earth emits a "negative charge" that actually helps to balance us, inside and out, as electrical beings. All of the technology we deal with each day emits "positive" electrons, which wouldn't be so bad if we then balanced those with negative electrons; but we are usually disconnected from the earth by our rubber wheels or rubber-soled shoes, so the positive electrons prevail, leading to all kinds of problems with our health.
Now, these labels of negative and positive may seem counter-intuitive, since "negative" (which carries the connotation of "bad") actually means something good; but this is not a zero-sum game. We are speaking of BALANCE of both negative and positive, yin and yang. When we are out of balance, we have inflammation of the joints or a certain organ in our body. When we are out of balance, our hormones act in ways that are aggravating, especially at certain times of our lives!
When the earth's negative ions can enter the soles of our bare feet, they recharge us, so to speak, with the natural energy that is already within us. It's like plugging yourself into the right electrical wall socket. That's why people who are depressed get better when they walk on the beach. I have heard this before, but the little detail that was left out of that prescription is that you need to walk BAREFOOT on the beach. Some people still keep their shoes on, and that is no good. "You have to be skin on skin with the earth," says David Wolfe.
So, after spending about 3 hours on my laptop at a coffee shop today, I went to the beach across the street, and took off my shoes and socks. It was about 40 degrees outside, and cloudy. The sand was icy cold, and at first the sensation of cold and wet sand preoccupied my mind. But, after about 10 minutes of strolling slowly and watching the little waves roll in, and the seagulls flutter about, I became more aware of the sensation of the sand under my feet. It was hard as concrete in some places, and gave way in other spots ... It was grainy and smooth, cold and strong. I stood still for a few moments, and actually felt some bubbling energy entering my left foot! I have no idea what that was, but I don't think it was a clam with indigestion.
I want to return this weekend again, and walk for a little longer. You should try it, and see for yourself if that experience re-energizes you!
Here's the YouTube with David Wolfe explaining all of this (10 min, 50 seconds (hit the back arrow when finished, to return to this page!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RGN5ikfOho&feature=related
Sunday, December 5, 2010
As long as I live
I just got a call tonight from a colleague. "I need your help. My husband has only two weeks to live, maybe three." She paused. "I don't know what to do about my contract or benefits. Do you know who I can talk to?"
Hearing these words from the quivering voice on the other end of the line automatically made me take a deep breath. As she continued, I found my mind quickly clicking away with answers, and maintaining a straight-up policeman's report approach to the situation. I have known this colleague for about 7 years, on and off; we teach at the same university, but in different locations. She is an artist, a scientist, a psychologist -- fully involved with life, and engaging her students 150% in their own learning. Her classes are rated the best of any I know, and I am always stunned by the amount of creativity that flows from her efforts—although, for this woman, it seems as easy as breathing.
But she was having a very hard time breathing now. She called me because I am the level-headed one between the two of us -- not carried away by emotion, but able to quickly see the lay of the land and make a decision about the most appropriate course of action. In spite of that capacity, which was being called upon in this moment, my heart opened and I felt my eyes tearing up. I wanted to communicate something of value ... but what helps at a time like this? "I'm sorry" just doesn't seem to fit.
So, I acknowledged her pain. "You have worked so hard these past couple of years to bring healing to your husband; he has lived so much longer than anyone thought, and that’s on account of your care."
That's all I could come up with. But she accepted it, and spoke a little more about the situation. "I don't know how to be with a dying person. I have never had to do this. We have to give up now. He’s going to hospice." She sounded so strained and absolutely exhausted.
I had no answers, and I knew she didn't need to hear me say something trite. The closest I have been to dying was when I picked up a small sparrow that had flown into our dining room window. I held it and felt its rapid-fire beating heart, and its delicate lungs moving faster than I could count the breaths. And ... then ... nothing. I felt the Life Force leave, just like a switch being turned off. The bird stopped breathing, its heart stopped its beating, and the weight of its tiny body pressed itself into my palm. One instant it was almost weightless; the next, it was like a heavy river rock.
That was, perhaps, the most sacred moment I have ever had the privilege of experiencing so far in my life.
As I write this, I remember a similar experience the day I met this colleague. We were at a faculty retreat in late September, the venue of which was a large lodge on a lake in northern Washington State. It was a clear day. My first impression of her was that she was extravagant and very stylish in her large-brimmed hat and scarf. Her coat was long and nothing you would find in a typical American store. She wore long black boots. "Flamboyant" came to mind, but in an intriguing sort of way. She was not lofty, but very earthy. We were both seated facing one of the huge windows that looked over the lake. Someone was talking about something to the group of 30-some educators there, but only my colleague and I flinched at the moment a small bird flew right into the window. THUD. We saw it fall straight to the deck below. There may be a few others who heard it or saw something, but this woman and I were the only ones who registered concern.
When we went on a break a few minutes later, I found myself making a bee-line out the back door to check on the bird. So was my colleague, and she got there first. Without hesitation, she gently scooped up the little bird and talked to it, caressing its tiny brown feathers. I am pretty sure it died right there in her loving hands. I remember that we looked for a suitable place to bury it in the woods near the lodge. It was so strange to come back at the end of break with black, pungent earth under our fingernails, and pine sap on our hands. I remember noticing that—in spite of the flamboyant dress of my new friend, her fingernails were those of a worker: short and industrious. When we got back into the room, all of the other faculty members were standing around and chatting over cups of steaming coffee and donuts. None of them had a clue about what had just transpired outside with that little bird. It was our shared precious moment. Our Sacred Secret.
I don't know if she remembers this incident, but as I write this, I think it is exactly what I need to recount to her: "You DO know what to do. You were just there, and you spoke with love from your heart. You held that little bird and caressed it. You were just THERE. That's all you could do, and that's what you did."
Of course, I know that losing your husband of many years is a bit more traumatic than these incidents with birds, but isn’t the principle more or less the same? All you can do is speak love to the dying person, and be there.
This recollection of the bird at the lodge was not part of my thinking during our short conversation. All I knew was that I needed to be the firm "foundation of sense" to her when everything about her world made no sense at all. Why did a robust man in the prime of his life suddenly succumb to this disease? How could it have robbed him of 60 pounds of precious body weight in such a short period of time? Why him? Why her? They were madly in love after many many years of marriage. Why why why why why?
I steadied my voice. "Yes," I can get those contacts for you; I’m sure there is something that can be done to help you out..."
She interrupted me: "Please email me. I don't have any paper or pen right here."
"Of course," I replied. “My computer is right here, and I will do it now.”
"Okay, bye. Thank you." She hung up the phone.
Such a precious conversation. I cannot be with her to hold her hand or give her the hug that communicates everything I want to say without words. All I know is that, as long as I live, I want to prepare for death better. I want to be present for more moments -- my own, and those I spend with others. I want to be able to "hold" even a distant colleague as gently as she held that bird—as gently and lovingly as I held my little sparrow.
That’s all a person can do. I think that, ultimately, that's what we are called to do for each other, every day.
Hearing these words from the quivering voice on the other end of the line automatically made me take a deep breath. As she continued, I found my mind quickly clicking away with answers, and maintaining a straight-up policeman's report approach to the situation. I have known this colleague for about 7 years, on and off; we teach at the same university, but in different locations. She is an artist, a scientist, a psychologist -- fully involved with life, and engaging her students 150% in their own learning. Her classes are rated the best of any I know, and I am always stunned by the amount of creativity that flows from her efforts—although, for this woman, it seems as easy as breathing.
But she was having a very hard time breathing now. She called me because I am the level-headed one between the two of us -- not carried away by emotion, but able to quickly see the lay of the land and make a decision about the most appropriate course of action. In spite of that capacity, which was being called upon in this moment, my heart opened and I felt my eyes tearing up. I wanted to communicate something of value ... but what helps at a time like this? "I'm sorry" just doesn't seem to fit.
So, I acknowledged her pain. "You have worked so hard these past couple of years to bring healing to your husband; he has lived so much longer than anyone thought, and that’s on account of your care."
That's all I could come up with. But she accepted it, and spoke a little more about the situation. "I don't know how to be with a dying person. I have never had to do this. We have to give up now. He’s going to hospice." She sounded so strained and absolutely exhausted.
I had no answers, and I knew she didn't need to hear me say something trite. The closest I have been to dying was when I picked up a small sparrow that had flown into our dining room window. I held it and felt its rapid-fire beating heart, and its delicate lungs moving faster than I could count the breaths. And ... then ... nothing. I felt the Life Force leave, just like a switch being turned off. The bird stopped breathing, its heart stopped its beating, and the weight of its tiny body pressed itself into my palm. One instant it was almost weightless; the next, it was like a heavy river rock.
That was, perhaps, the most sacred moment I have ever had the privilege of experiencing so far in my life.
As I write this, I remember a similar experience the day I met this colleague. We were at a faculty retreat in late September, the venue of which was a large lodge on a lake in northern Washington State. It was a clear day. My first impression of her was that she was extravagant and very stylish in her large-brimmed hat and scarf. Her coat was long and nothing you would find in a typical American store. She wore long black boots. "Flamboyant" came to mind, but in an intriguing sort of way. She was not lofty, but very earthy. We were both seated facing one of the huge windows that looked over the lake. Someone was talking about something to the group of 30-some educators there, but only my colleague and I flinched at the moment a small bird flew right into the window. THUD. We saw it fall straight to the deck below. There may be a few others who heard it or saw something, but this woman and I were the only ones who registered concern.
When we went on a break a few minutes later, I found myself making a bee-line out the back door to check on the bird. So was my colleague, and she got there first. Without hesitation, she gently scooped up the little bird and talked to it, caressing its tiny brown feathers. I am pretty sure it died right there in her loving hands. I remember that we looked for a suitable place to bury it in the woods near the lodge. It was so strange to come back at the end of break with black, pungent earth under our fingernails, and pine sap on our hands. I remember noticing that—in spite of the flamboyant dress of my new friend, her fingernails were those of a worker: short and industrious. When we got back into the room, all of the other faculty members were standing around and chatting over cups of steaming coffee and donuts. None of them had a clue about what had just transpired outside with that little bird. It was our shared precious moment. Our Sacred Secret.
I don't know if she remembers this incident, but as I write this, I think it is exactly what I need to recount to her: "You DO know what to do. You were just there, and you spoke with love from your heart. You held that little bird and caressed it. You were just THERE. That's all you could do, and that's what you did."
Of course, I know that losing your husband of many years is a bit more traumatic than these incidents with birds, but isn’t the principle more or less the same? All you can do is speak love to the dying person, and be there.
This recollection of the bird at the lodge was not part of my thinking during our short conversation. All I knew was that I needed to be the firm "foundation of sense" to her when everything about her world made no sense at all. Why did a robust man in the prime of his life suddenly succumb to this disease? How could it have robbed him of 60 pounds of precious body weight in such a short period of time? Why him? Why her? They were madly in love after many many years of marriage. Why why why why why?
I steadied my voice. "Yes," I can get those contacts for you; I’m sure there is something that can be done to help you out..."
She interrupted me: "Please email me. I don't have any paper or pen right here."
"Of course," I replied. “My computer is right here, and I will do it now.”
"Okay, bye. Thank you." She hung up the phone.
Such a precious conversation. I cannot be with her to hold her hand or give her the hug that communicates everything I want to say without words. All I know is that, as long as I live, I want to prepare for death better. I want to be present for more moments -- my own, and those I spend with others. I want to be able to "hold" even a distant colleague as gently as she held that bird—as gently and lovingly as I held my little sparrow.
That’s all a person can do. I think that, ultimately, that's what we are called to do for each other, every day.
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